There’s this new grotesquely expensive spin studio next to campus here in Austin, that I’ve been dying to try. Back in my LA days, I was known to spin on the regular, but that’s fallen away since I’ve moved to Texas. CYC Austin seemed like a cool place to get started again. Unfortunately, I don’t have the $18 to spend on a 45 minute class (and that’s student rates, folks!), but they offer the first class for free, so I was tempted. They say you can burn up to 800 calories in a class, so that’s kind of crazy. Plus, it was a Rihanna themed class since it was her 25th birthday…how could I say no?
Say no and miss out on this insanity? I don’t think so.
If you’re wondering what it’s like to take a spin class in a room that’s basically like a club, here’s the play by play of my thought process:
God, it’s dark. How the hell are you supposed to clip these clippy shoes into the pedal? I CAN’T SEE THE PEDAL I’M FAILING AT SPIN AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED OH MY GO– oh. It clipped in.
Let’s do this.
The instructor has muscles on his muscles. Wow. And he likes to yell. That’s cool.
Right, left, right, left.
The girl in front of me has a really nice butt. Does my butt look like that when I bike? No. It never looks like that. Well, maybe? I should ask the girl behind me.
Wait, we’re turning up the resistance? But…
Right, left, right, left, right…left….right….
OH GOD THE INSTRUCTORS LOOKING AT ME
rightleftrightleftrightleftrightleft
Where did everyone get their weights? Why do they have weights? Isn’t this a spin class? Fine. I’ll use my water bottle. It ain’t no thang.
Oh my God, I totally forgot that Chris Brown had a verse on “Under my Umbrella” back before he beat Ri! Why are we listening to this version? Are we condoning their relationship? I’m so not ok with that. How could she get back with him? Ri! RIIIIII! Don’t listen to his lies!!!!
They’re bringing in a LIVE DANCER in ballet shoes to dance to this song while we cycle?! Where am I?!?!
Right, left, right, left
Right leg dying. Like, actually dying. How are all these bouncy girls doing this?
Ooh, we get glow sticks?! This must be where their $20 per class is going. Glow stick technology. I can almost be cool with that.
And we get to spin our towels over our heads? WOOOO.
Right, left, right…left…right.
Aw, instructor is telling us how he fell in love with a guy…who lives in Australia. I’m getting all emotional over this as I have no resistance to anything left. This class may be beating me into oblivion.
I can’t see. I’ve sweated through my super fashionable sweatband. How is this happening.
Wait, it’s the end of class?! Seriously? I have never had 45 minutes fly by like that.
Now, how do I unclip my shoes? No. Really. Guys? Help?
—-
So yeah, I kind of loved it. I really wish they would re-evaluate their pricing. $12 a class for students would be doable. $18? Yikes. For that kind of money, I’d expect my own spin elf to bring me fresh towels and magic potion water that makes me leaner and faster.
If I was rich, I’d be so ripped, you guys. You don’t even know.
Yes, spin is pretty incredible, isn’t it? Although I think I could do without all of the extras offered in this class.
This is the amazingest thing ever. If I may just tell you what would happen if I take a spin class:
OMG I think I’m dying
No really, I’m going to die, I can’t breathe
DEAD
I’m not even kidding.
A Rihanna themed class?! FUN!