C’est Magnifique.

I’m really creative at procrastinating school work. I have a paper due for a class this week, so I decided I should write a nice, detailed outline first so putting the whole paper together wouldn’t be overwhelming.

And by put together an outline, I totally meant watch clips of Mad Men on Youtube. Oh yeah. I’m sure that was a fantastic use of my time. Anyway, for anyone who has somehow missed the Mad Men phenomenon, I’ve decided that this video clip may be the perfect, weird introduction.

It has it all! Bizarre musical interludes, gorgeous costumes, complex relationships portrayed in coded looks, and Joan, one of the world’s most tragic characters hidden under the most perfect, self-possessed curvy veneer. I have always gone between wanting to be her (proof of this is in my collection of wiggle dresses for the office) and wanting to save her. That’s a hard dichotomy to pull off.

She’s certainly the only person I can think of on television who can make an accordion look sexy.

Things I Learned from Re-Watching The Hills

Did you guys know that The Hills are on Netflix Instant? Yep. I didn’t until this weekend…and oh, it’s bad I found out. I burned through the first two seasons like a crazy person. Why do I like this show?! Nothing ever, ever happens. Most episodes revolve around one person saying something “shady” (oh, do they love the term “shady”) and then everyone else discussing it for 20 minutes.

But, I’ve always felt like The Hills girls lived in an familiar, but alternate version of LA than I did. They were only a year younger than me and lived a few blocks from my apartment. They went to a lot of the same restaurants, parks and stores I did (well, when they were slumming). They also dined at a lot of restaurants I always wanted to try, but never did. I love getting glimpses of these places without actually having to pay!

But, even though they were often hanging out in places I frequented which made it eerily real, the plotlines and dialogue was the most scripted of the scripted. And who are these 20 year olds who can afford crazy tabs at fancy bars? Who has a boyfriend who sends ridiculous, tree-like massive bouquets…and also wears endless amounts of endless, horrible bling? And why did I never have a guy decide to rent an apartment with me in Malibu for the summer?! Wow. I must have been hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Anyway, here are the lessons I learned while re-watching the first two seasons of The Hills:

No matter how pretty they are, everyone ugly cries when they go through a break up. Mouth open, gasping for air, straight-up ugly crying. It doesn’t matter how horrible the guy was. YOU. WILL. UGLY. CRY.

If you want to know how into you a guy is, make him think you may be pregnant for a few long minutes. See what he does. Let him squirm. It’s the only way to gauge his emotions for sure.

Always go to Paris. DUH.

Los Angeles is the prettiest city in the world when shot through MTV’s lens. They even make the smog layer look atmospheric! Aw, pretty city. I miss you.

Never trust the man with the flesh colored beard! NEVER!

Pinkberry is a breakfast food. I actually completely agree with this. I’m being totally serious.

You should always have a friend who will tell you bad news with vacant eyes and an uncomprehending smile. It helps to cushion the blow.

If your boyfriend gets you a puppy and then you break up, don’t worry about it. The puppy will magically disappear between seasons. Also, a random cat may appear and disappear in your apartment. Don’t comment on it.

You look healthier, younger and all over better without massive amounts of plastic surgery. Always.

You’d give me fake diamonds on my birthday? Then you’re a BAD FRIEND.

And of course, FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN!

Mad Men Anticipation

You know what’s the longest season? The “Mad Men Isn’t on TV” season.
Luckily, every so often some gorgeous production photos are released, which gives me a small Mad Men fix.

Also, is there no greater weight loss inspiration than Jessica Paré in that gorgeous bathing suit?! Maybe I can get there next year. Um, maybe.

More awesome pics here.

(And sorry to those of you who saw this twice. I can have problems with figuring out how to schedule posts sometimes. I blame the sleep deprivation)

“That is like trying to be friends with an evil…snail.”

On these dark mornings, I need a little motivation to get out of bed and move myself towards the coffeemaker. You know what helps? The Office re-runs. Thank you, Netflix Instant.

And the best thing about The Office?

Michael Scott vs. Toby Flenderson. Always.

What do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced. So…

Hero of the Day: Alana aka Honey Boo Boo Chiiiiiild from Toddlers and Tiaras

I have a lot of heroes. My grandfather built his own house and started his own walnut ranch out of nothing. HERO. My grandma baked all her own bread, canned all her own fruits and veggies which were grown in her own garden, raised four children AND taught Spanish while staying incredibly chipper and fantastic. HERO. Rosa Parks, Jane Austen, Paul Newman…hero, hero, (sexy) hero.

And then there are  the others. The ones that I really shouldn’t admit to looking up to, because it makes me seem a bit insane. But I do. I really do.

Hero of the day: Alana Thompson of Toddlers and Tiaras

Yes, this little girl is super old news on the internet, and yes, she is being completely exploited in the pageant industry…but can we all just acknowledge her absolute crazy awesomeness for a second?!

Unlike myself, her confidence level seems to be unwaveringly through the roof. She knows what she wants (pageant crowns), she knows what it takes to get it (drinking a combination of Mountain Dew and Red Bull aka go-go juice), and she fully believes that she deserves to get what she wants. Oh, you go Honey Boo Boo Chiiiiiiiild.

The best part of it all? When she doesn’t win, she doesn’t get sad. She figures the judges just didn’t know a good thing when they saw it. After all, that’s the only explanation that makes sense.

Oh Honey Boo Boo, I need to take a page from your book, stat. I will leave all the go-go juice to you though. I’m not looking to have a heart attack by the age of 30.