Shopping at Forever 21…when you’re not 21.

21 May

I like bargains. I like clothes. I like silly accessories. I like ridiculous nail polish. I like shopping.

Hence, I like Forever 21.

(I’d like to point out that I don’t like lax child labor laws or the philosophy of disposable fashion, but let’s forget that for this post, shall we?)

I had the shopping bug this weekend, but I can’t spend all that much money, so I figured sequestering myself in Forever 21 would be a safe thing to do. Seeing as how pretty much everything there is under $20, I couldn’t damage my credit rating too much.

But here’s the thing. Trying to shop as a “classy”, 26 almost 27 year old at Forever 21 is a challenge. Hell, I’m not very strict about my “classy” label anyway. Do the clothes cover the parts that need to be covered so I don’t get arrested walking down the street? Classy enough for me. The problem is, I have a very, um, womanly figure. I always have. My curves — they don’t quit. BAM. Forever 21 can have a hard time keeping it all under control. Amazingly, the t-shirts that fit their mostly under 16 year old audience just don’t keep the chest of doom in check. Weird. Still, I can usually find a piece or two that will work.

This is what I found this weekend.

Unlike the regular mullet, this dress is party in front, business in back.

Who thought a high-low/MULLET dress was a good idea? Straight, normal, even hems are passe now? Really? Thank you for making otherwise cute dresses into something that looks like it got caught in the dryer in a weird way.

The classic neon green, cut-off short shorts. A must in every lady’s closet.

Who DOESN’T need a pair of these shorts?! How many times have I bemoaned the lack of neon green, cut-off Daisy Dukes in my closet. I get invited to all those rave hoe-downs, and I never have anything to wear!

Less shirt, more fun!

You know how I’m always looking for a shirt that will show off my entire stomach? Forever 21 knows. They know, and they’re coming to my aid. Make it neon with a horribly fake general “ethnic” print, and it’s perfect. Throw in some high waisted shorts, and wow. Just…wow.

A “halter top”. Yes. That is how this is advertised.

Was that cropped tank too much fabric for you? Then enjoy this bra…I mean…halter top. It comes in faded denim, for extra class.

 

All one piece! Like gas stations attendants used to wear!

And ohhhhh the jumpsuit. Can someone explain to me how you pee in this thing? Like…do you have to take the whole thing off? Is there a secret hole…or something? The mind boggles.

I did end up finding a cute skirt that is only a little bit too casual/short for a 26 year old, but meh. At least it doesn’t have sparkles/neon/stupid text/random holes cut out of it. That’s all you can really ask for.

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One Response to “Shopping at Forever 21…when you’re not 21.”

  1. Luli May 22, 2012 at 10:54 pm #

    I shop there in secret, and I’m 33.

Give me a shout!

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