How To: Take the Best ID Photo EVER!

16 Aug

Look Ma, no shirt!

So, it’s that time again. You need a new driver’s license/passport/student ID/whatever. How do you not look sickly and disgusting on in a photo that’s going to follow you around for ten years? Just do it my way!

1. Walk in the triple digit heat and high humidity to the office where your picture will be taken. The nice sweat you work up will make you absolutely glow. The flash needs something to reflect off of, you know! Extra points if your neck is just as red as your face!

2. Make sure you wear your hair up, and then take it down right before the picture. No need to remember a hairbrush! Just use your fingers to frantically brush your hair for three minutes while waiting in line.

3. Some people will tell you it’s a good idea to bring your make-up to do a touch up as you wait. Psh. Totally unnecessary. If you need color, just start frantically biting your lip and pinching your cheeks. Yes, other people in line may give you a wide berth, but whatever. You’re going to look fab.u.lous.

4. Wear a shirt that does nothing for your complexion. It doesn’t matter because you can just cover it with your wild woman hair. Sure, you make look naked, but that’s better than wearing a washed out gray tee, right?

5. Look straight on at the camera and smile as big as you can. You want to look frantically happy. Make sure you squint just slightly so the bags under your eyes can really POP!

Voila! Now you look like the wild, breezy, super fun woman you are. Or you look like a slightly deranged, naked lady who doesn’t own a hairbrush! Either way, you’ll stand out!


4 Responses to “How To: Take the Best ID Photo EVER!”

  1. Brianna's Happy Life August 16, 2012 at 7:01 am #

    haha! “Look Ma, no shirt!” Hilarious. Love it!

  2. Raunak August 16, 2012 at 7:01 am #

    superlike 🙂

  3. dorannrule August 16, 2012 at 8:11 am #

    Great advice! And sooooo funny. 🙂

  4. C. A. Husted August 19, 2012 at 12:23 am #

    Yeah, that nude appearance can do wonders, especially for a driver’s license, I would imagine. That’s another topic for another time.

    Ten years? In Tennessee, the DMV renews licenses every five years, and with each identification renewed or replaced, a new picture must be taken; state rules. Bleh. Yeah, if it’s not one thing, it’s five others.

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