My bikini body.

13 Sep

As I’ve been losing weight over the past 5 months, I have noticed some differences in my behavior. Smoothies are in my life an awful lot of the time. Burgers don’t happen nearly as often (Sigh). I’m not self-conscious about how my body looks when I run. In fact, I think I look pretty darn powerful…at least at the start of the run. My body moves more easily in dance classes. I’m the girl doing the most powerful moves instead of the modifications.

And the biggest behavior change? I wear a bikini instead of a one-piece bathing suit.

The bikini! The Freya Marimba!
I thought about putting up a photo of me in the bikini, but I’m not quite there yet. Soooo, just imagine my head on this lady. It’s about 93% accurate. Yep.

I have never done this before. Through my entire adult life, I relied on the “vintage, retro, curvy, one-piece” look to get me by, and it’s been fine. Hell, it’s been pretty darn sexy at times. But I always envied my friends in their cute, colorful, little bikinis. And you know what’s a lot easier to do in a bikini? Go to the bathroom. I needed to get a bikini.

So, now that I am more comfortable in my body, I went out and bought a ridiculously expensive bikini that fits me juuuuust right. Lounging in it while watching episodes of “Game of Thrones” on my computer was great, but finally I decided I needed to get out there and show it off. But what would happen? Would people see my white, soft belly and laugh? Cry? Explode? Be so traumatized that they’d never go to the pool again?

Nope. They saw a girl in a bikini who was swimming her butt off.

I spend so much time being uncomfortable in my body. I pinch the fat on my thighs and sigh. I compulsively look around the room in exercise classes to see if I’m the fattest person. I have shed tears over my arms, my stomach, my chin and definitely, definitely my boobs. Even when friends or boyfriends have told me how much they like a part of me, I discount their opinions. They have to be nice, right? They can’t actually mean it.

But you know, my body is my body. How dare I hate something that has given me so much joy? My legs pump my bike’s pedals, even if my thighs are a bit larger than I’d like. Even with the jiggle, my arms can still hold a million grocery bags at once so I don’t have to make more than one trip from my car to the kitchen. The small of my back is the perfect place for a man to rest his hand as we dance. And my boobs and butt? Well, they come in handy every so often. There is so much joy to be had with my body the way it is now, not the way it’ll be when I’m 10 or 20 pounds lighter.

Why wait any longer to enjoy it? It’s time to jump in the water, whether my body is “perfect” or not. Who gets to choose perfect anyway? No one is there to judge me. No one cares. The only person who wants to make fun of me is myself. And that’s not very nice of me.

I’d rather be swimming.


8 Responses to “My bikini body.”

  1. Raunak September 13, 2012 at 6:59 am #

    93% of that is perfection!

  2. keepmoving4wd September 13, 2012 at 7:53 am #

    YAY that’s awesome, I have to lose weight too, I can’t believe now how self-conscience I am, arghhhh… Anyway she has a perfect body I think!

  3. qiquan September 13, 2012 at 8:03 am #

    I am just about to comment who took such perfect photo for you? About the body thing, there is a quote says that, every eye has their own kind of flower =).

  4. Etol Bagam September 13, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    Totally agree! Go swim, girl! 😉

  5. Laura September 13, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    *Rapturous applause* That’s right giiiirl, you love that body you’ve got! (I seriously approve of this. Also, good point about peeing in a swimming costume. Hmm…)

  6. David A Olson September 18, 2012 at 3:43 pm #


    I know how hard it can be to get in shape then maintain it. I spent two years in the gym building my body then let it fall apart when long hours were required at work this past year.

    Keep up the great work!

  7. Andi April 20, 2013 at 7:18 am #

    Congrats on your weight loss success!!! Keep it up girl!

  8. Roisin April 21, 2013 at 2:30 am #

    Love this! A brilliant way to look at things – thanks for sharing!

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