You asked? I answered!

18 Oct

Way back in the 2010 day, Winona was tearing it up at Daddy Likey, which was basically the best blog ever. Hilarious, smart and crazy awesome, she was one of my blogging heroes. Alas, her life got busy and the blog fell to the wayside. Although she may be gone from the blogging world, I would like to think that I am honoring her by doing my own version of one of her recurring posts Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey.

Basically, she would go through her hits from search engines to see what is bringing viewers to her blog, and then she’d answer their search queries. Seems like a good thing to do for those seekers of knowledge out there who somehow end up in my little corner of the internet.

Let’s do this!

  • how to make boyfriend perfect sandwich

I get this search term A LOT. Is there an epidemic of guys out there asking their girlfriends to make them a sandwich? If so, done! Kick him out! THAT’S A DEALBREAKER, LADIES!

(but you want the secret? Bacon, avocado, fry in butter. Works every time.)

  • make me a lady adult bikini

Ok. Find woman. Ensure she is over 18. Put her in two piece bathing suit. Bam! I just made you a lady adult bikini. Was that really so hard?

    • harassed at the grocery store line
    • women ignore me in grocery

I’d like to point out that these two search inquiries came in within a day of each other. I would really like to think they’re related.

  • Look ma no bra

Well, look at you, Miss Sassypants. For the record, I’d like to point out that I always wear a bra in pictures I post on Oh Dizzle. There are many strict underwear regulations in the Oh Dizzle constitution.

  • cant wait to be a crazy cat lady

You and me both, sister, you and me both.

  • making panda animal cupcake love

I have no tips for you, but congratulations on choosing the most delicious, cuddliest, cutest type of sex ever! Go to it and report back!

  • swans lovely graceful

No. No, they aren’t.

  • gropey cat

So, funny story. Trixie used to think it was super amazing to jump on my ex’s crotch while he was just waking up in the morning. It was such an exciting start to everyone’s day! Screaming! Swearing! Throwing things! What more could a kitten ask for?

Can your gropey cat beat that?

  • wear a suit to college like a boss

Don’t do this. You won’t look like a boss. You’ll look like the 19 year old in a cheap suit. And when else in your life besides college will a free t-shirt and sweatpants be considered an acceptable outfit to wear in public? Take advantage of your time, young one!

  • neon green pee

Please, for the love of God, go to a doctor. Pee can be a variety of delightful, sunny colors. Neon green should not be one of them.

  • gorgeous boobs

Oh sir, you flatter.

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2 Responses to “You asked? I answered!”

  1. rossmurray1 October 18, 2012 at 9:12 am #

    Good lord. Funny queries made funnier. By the by, “how to make boyfriend perfect sandwich” may in fact be a search with mixed-up syntax by a Taiwanese cannibal. Happens all the time.

  2. Christy November 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

    “making panda animal cupcake love” and your reply to it is my favorite of the bunch.

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